surrealistdreamer | My prediction...

My prediction...

...for what's going to happen in the future with the people who are crying about leaving tumblr fiveever because they're supposedly cracking down hard on nsfw stuff (even though all evidence points to they're actually not). A couple weeks from now they're still going to be on tumblr. They're still going to post nsfw stuff and people are still gonna see it.

Honestly this is starting to get really annoying. Though the thing that really makes me want to roll my eyes so hard they fall out of my head is that people seem to want to scapegoat yahoo even though tumblr has always run itself as ineptly as possible without the intervention of a large company. And if I see one more post whining about yahoo wanting to clean the site up "for the children" even though tumblr let's you join if you have an email and has never asked for your age then I'm gonna throw up.

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More ATLA- Toph wants to fight Kaiju, but she's blind. As a pilot or a mechanic, she would have to be able to see things. The most obvious way for her to fight Kaiju anyway is to fill Gottlieb's role and fight them with the power of math. Then we get to hear Toph yelling at Sokka when he tries to talk Aang into drifting with a piece of Kaiju brain, because, honestly, I DIDN'T EXPECT EVEN YOU TO BE THAT COMPLETELY SCORCHING INSANE, MEATHEAD. Jun is Hannibal Chau.

More Motorcity- TEXAAAAAS! is a tatooed Kaiju groupie. Tennie is a mathematician who dabbles in weapons R&D. Dutch is a mechanic/Jaeger designer who finds excuses to spend extra time with Tennie because he liiiiikes her. At some point, Texas is like, "Hey, Tennie, I see your department's got a Kaiju brain here, why don't we find out if I can drift with it?" and Dutch is like, "Effin' Texas." Julie and Claire are a Jaeger pilot team. The Duke of Detroit is Hannibal Chau because fucking duh.

Monsters University- Mike's childhood dream is to be a Jaeger pilot, so he has learned everything there is to know about designing, building, and repairing Jaegers. He earned excellent grades in all the required courses. But when he tried to drift, he had problems, and those problems persisted after the point at which most prospective pilots get used to it. Marshal Abigail Hardscrabble is the veteran pilot who doubts that Mike will ever be able to cope with drifting reliably enough to put him in a Jaeger. Sully is the arrogant jerk with daddy issues who accuses Mike of being exactly the kind of inferior candidate who brings the whole program down. But when a double event occurs, and Sully's dad is too badly injured to go back out there, the only option is for Mike to step up as Sully's co-pilot.

These AU's are beautiful and perfect.

*grins like a scarily grinning Kaiju* Thank you.

Also also, in the Monsters University AU, Art is the weird dude who sees a preserved Kaiju brain and goes, "I wanna drift with it. I wanna drift with it! I'm gonna drift with it!"

Yes! Aaaaa! -faints at the beauty of it all-

In the Harry Potter version, the roles of Gottlieb and Newton go to Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood-- instead Bechdel pass with flying colors FOR SCIENCE!

Harry and Ron are a rookie piloting team with something to prove. Ron is trying to outperform Fred and George, who together form one hell of a Kaiju-stomping team, and Harry is trying to avenge his dad, who died piloting a Jaeger with Sirius Black. Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald were the greatest, Kaiju-killingest team EVER (Alchemy Phoenix!). Aberforth Dumbledore sells Kaiju parts on the black market. Seamus and Dean are another co-pilot team, Lee Jordan is a soundboard operated, and Neville is some kind of behind-the-scenes researcher or repair tech who wanted to live up to the legacy of his Jaeger pilot parents but can't because he's too clumsy and too prone to getting lost in the drift. McGonagall is the stern-but-fair officer who points out to Neville that he's actually assisted in more Kaiju kills than his parents did.

Oh, and one more thing: Hagrid is the buyer for those ammonia-loving Kaiju parasites. His dream is to capture a baby Kaiju alive and raise it. He has full sleeve tattoos of such interesting creatures.

Eeeeee~ I already doodled Mike and Chuck as pilots with Mike reassuring Chuck.

Chuck: What if I chase the rabbit and get lost in the Drift?! I'm not as efficient in combat as you are and I haven't had any training! I'll just drag you down like every says and and and-

Mike: CHUCK! Don't worry. I'll be right there beside you.

Chuck: I-I-I-okay.

I AM NOW FULL OF KAIJU-SIZED HEARTS!@

TF2- Demo and Solly are the loudest and most hilariously aggressive pilot team in the world. Scout and his absurdly high number of older brothers are their only real competition. Heavy co-pilots with one of his sisters. Girl and boy Pyros form another team (Unicorn Inferno!). Engie invented Jaegers. Medic is the crazy biologist who decides to drift with a disembodied Kaiju cortex, and Heavy is all, "I help you, doctor. We share neural load."

Are you ready for KUNG-FU JAEGERS?!

Po was raised by a humble noodle shop owner, but he has always dreamed of being a Jaeger pilot. When he finds out that his bio parents were killed in a Kaiju attack, that only makes him want to fight against the Kaiju even more. Po's heroes are Ugwe and Shifu, the first pilots ever to kill a Kaiju and survive the battle. They're also the trainers/mentors of the three currently highest-ranking Jaeger teams (the Furious Five + Tai).

But one of their students is mixed up in shady dealings (maybe selling stuff on the black market?) that could cause a huge scandal. Most people in the military and national governments would cover up just about anything to protect a really good Jaeger pilot. Tai's co-pilot Tigress is NOT one of those people. One day Tai loses control of his temper and, along with it, his memories during a mission. By the time the Furious Dragon returns to base, Tigress knows that Tai committed a murder for disgraceful reasons and by particularly dishonorable means. She refuses to work with him anymore and reports him, even though doing so endangers her own career. Now the most amazing team in the world is short a pilot-- soon to be short two pilots and a Jaeger if they don't find a new honorable pilot who is drift compatible with Tigress.

-heart explodes- I WAS NOT READY FOR THE PERFECTION OF THIS!

Speaking of Hearts how about a Kingdom Jaeger AU where Sora and his two childhood friends Riku and Kairi pilot a three person Jaeger (Trinity Striker) and are on a team with Thunder Lion (Cloud and Leon/Squall) and Air Goddess (Aerith and Yuffie). With Micky "The Mouse" King in the role of Stacker Pentecost. Donald and his fiance Daisy work the sound boards. Goofy is a well meaning, but bumbling guy who had wanted to be a Pilot, but instead works as a coach for the various teams to make sure their spirits stay up (he has a lot of trouble with Riku and Cloud who both suffer from mixes of depression and Kaiju related PTSD).

Also Organization 13 is a Kaiju worshipping cult. Several of them are exPilots. Axel is a double agent who reports their shenanigans to Mickey who wants to keep tabs on them should they get their clutches into any more of his Rangers.

Also Organization 13 is a Kaiju worshipping cult. Several of them are exPilots. Axel is a double agent who reports their shenanigans to Mickey who wants to keep tabs on them should they get their clutches into any more of his Rangers.

YEEEESSS! MORE OF THIS!

You know, that's something that could plausibly have become a problem in the canon verse. They already have Kaiju groupies and trophy-collectors, and IRL our world already has doomsday cults and wackos who think human extinction would be a great thing for their extremely romanticized and very unscientific ideal of ~nature~. (Yes, humans do a lot of things that are bad for our own species and all the other species around us. But natural systems without humans do NOT work the way the "human environment guilt" extremists think they do.)

Yop yop! And Roxas can be Sora's twin who tries to convince him to join the cult, but Sora is like "No those guys are nutty and not everyone is an evil stain upon the world." Also I had horrifying visions of the group drugging and tying people up during Kaiju attacks to offer them up as sacrifices to the Kaiju. What's most disturbing is how the sacrifices keep getting younger and younger...

Also various princesses become researchers and mechanics for the Jeager project.

That is so creepy and so interesting, and I want to read it right, even though it doesn't exist yet!

Oh man I should totally write something for it! Eeee!

Yes, you should! It is a good idea, and you should feel good about thinking of it.

I also just had beautiful thoughts of Aladin and Jasmine being a married Jaeger couple along with Hank "Herc" Athena who pilots with his fiance Meg. And Adam "Beast" Prince (who got his nickname from being a large burly man) is a mechanic who has a cute relationship with the mathematician Belle.

I couldn't help smiling as I read that!

As an added bonus, it already sounds so much more girl-friendly than all the crappy attempts by dudes to "reimagine" the Disney Princesses as "warrior princesses" or "kickass" characters, which always seem to entail putting them in skimpier-than-ever outfits and more sexualized poses. (It's especially gross when Pocahontas is included because she 1) is based on a real life person who 2) was actually only 10-12 years old when she met John Smith).

That's cuz I actually like girls and feel a lot of fond nostalgia for the princesses even with as problematic as they are as characters. Because my love for characters doesn't stop at white dudes.

Also I even came up with a tragic backstory for Goofy wanting to become a Jaeger pilot. His wife and son were killed in a Kaiju attack and he wanted to initially be a pilot, but a lot like Neville he was too clumsy and had a bad tendency to get lost in the Drift. Not wanting to kick him out of the program completely Micky gave him a counseling position. Goofy is particularly invested in Sora's team because they're the youngest out of all the pilots (being in their late teens/early twenties) and acts a paternal figure to them all. Donald won't admit it, but he's fond of the kids too.

Dawwww! That's lovely and wonderful! I really do hope you write this story. <3

I'm going to! And I'll send it to you! And it shall be great!

That makes me so happy!

Meanwhile, I don't have a plot for the Claymore AU yet, but do know that Helen and Deneve are Canadian and a married couple and their Jaeger is named Aurora Crescendo!

So beautiful! I can't take it! Aaaaa~

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My prediction...

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